Community Chest 01:04

Season 1: Episode 4 ”Social Psychology”


Wow, its almost been a year since I have done one of these.  Well thankfully I’m not here to talk about the past!

The…uh…backbone (I use that term loosely) of this episode has to do with Jeff and Shirley’s relationship or rather lack thereof as Jeff cannot carry on a conversation with Shirley longer than 5 seconds and thus avoids conversations with her outside of the group. This is of course because Jeff’s gold medal in jibber jabber is based on his ability to sprint, not carry on long conversations with her.

But never fear, Vaughn to the rescue! That’s right, our favorite shirtless, neo-hippie (played by Eric Christian Olsen, Hi Hello How are you?) makes his first appearance as a potential love interest for Brita and foil du jour for Jeff. Jeff resorts to witty attack humor on Vaughn which suddenly gives him common ground with Shirley.

Jeff catches Britta making out in the quad (like high school students, foreshadowing the show eventually admitting that the tropes of high school life are easier to write comedy for, hello I’m looking at you lockers) which puts him in an awkward spot with Britta. He wants to be a good friend to Britta so he decides he can no longer make fun of Vaughn (tiny nipples) but Shirley (The Christian) decides to play the devil and keeps egging Jeff on.

Britta, trusting of her new platonic relationship with Jeff, shares that Vaughn is too relationshippy and gives Jeff a poem. Jeff shares said poem with Shirley and the proverbial poetic poop hits the fan. Britta and Vaughn find out, because this is a sitcom after all, and Vaughn blames it on Britta and hits the road explaining it as the least tight thing that has ever happened to him.

Shirley throws Jeff under the bus and Jeff realizes that his life is Degrassi Jr High. The two of them realize that they can no longer rag on people and thats the end of their relationship.  I of course may have missed the point there.

Jeff then does what I guess is the Jeff Winger speech of the episode by blaming the whole thing on Britta treating him too much like “one of the girls” which she buys and forgives him, presumably because there wasn’t enough time left in the episode to get to a real conclusion.

Meanwhile, Professor Duncan pops up again as Annie is looking to join a Psych experiment he is running based on the Duncan principal (The more control lost by the ego the more gained by the id resulting in a surprisingly predictable or breaking point). This requires her to find two victims to participate and she decides to use Troy and Abed.

The experiment requires putting the victims in a room and making them wait for said experiment which is the experiment. Hilarity ensues as one by one the participants drop out until its just Troy and Abed remaining.

Troy breaks and has somehow loses the use of his legs. Abed of course is Abed so he never breaks (making it 26 hours) but Duncan does followed by Annie (validating the principal?). Annie takes it out on Abed and asks him why he didn’t leave and he says its because Annie said they were really good friends making her realize what she had done and…well I’m giving this sub plot too much attention here. It really just serves to show that these guys are getting closer to the eventual family they would become.

Even the bumper is forgettable in this episode (“other than Troy busting out “I’m Doctor Doogie Seacrest”) which tried hard but is sadly lacking in the funny and the story.  This is our first big whiff of the show with 4 cool cool cools out of 10.



Vaughn – “No worries”

Jeff – “Interesting, because I might be worried if I was playing hackey sack a decade too late.


Duncan – “Okay I’ve actually been in this situation many times to I’m just going to be upfront. I’m not allowed to date any students.”

Annie – “Oh”

Duncan – “Even though your an 8. Which is a British 10. I am angry.”


Annie – “Please? You get paid”

Troy – “Do they do stuff to your butt?”

Annie – (disgustedly) “No.”

Troy – “ Do you get paid more if they do stuff to your butt?”

Annie – (sadly) “No.”

Troy – “That’s fine I’ll do it. I’m in.


Abed to Annie – “I didn’t realize we were really good friends. I figured we were more like Chandler and Phoebe, they never really had stories together…sure I’ll do it Chandler.”


Vaughn – “Hey your not going to order coffee?”

Jeff – “ Oh no I was just going to see if Britta…”

Vaughn – “ Hey no judgment bro I used to do coffee. Then I switched to green tea. Its like filled with these anti-oxidants and stuff. Its pretty tight.

Jeff – “Tight, yes I’ve heard that about green tea.”


Shirley – “Do you see how often Hackey Sack takes his shirt off? He’d play shirts and skins in a game of checkers.”


Shirley – “They call me Tatelina. It’s a bumblebee nickname. Its cute…but it stings.”


GI Jeff Community Promo Images

GI Jeff?!?!

Okay so now I live in a world where this is a real thing….


GI Jeff Community Promo Images

I’m seven shades of confused right now (which I suppose is apropos) as an epic internal geek out battle between my 7 year old self and my 30 something self are trying to determine who is more geeked that the picture above is a real thing.  A real episode of community based on the GI Joe animated cartoon.  I mean how fricken obscure are we trying to make this show that we are basing episodes on a cartoon from nearly 30 years ago?

Not that I’m complaining, I just simply don’t know how to process this.


“Given that knowing is half the battle, it’s about time you received more intel aboutCommunity‘s animated episode. Airing April 3, “G.I. Jeff” pays tribute to the ’80s animated series G.I. Joe, and you can take your first peek at the Study Group reimagined as figures of action in the photos above and below: There’s Jeff (Joel McHale) as Wingman (yes, he has a backpack with wings), Annie (Alison Brie) as Tight Ship, Britta (Gillian Jacobs) as Buzzkill, and Shirley as Three Kids.”

This is like some random dream mash up that I had but is actually a real thing.  What is left for this show?

Noticeable by his absence in the article of course is everyone’s favorite mental patient to be Abed.  He’s emotionally detached, can’t relate to people…I’m thinking Snake Eyes is the best fit for him!

And yes I know the characters listed aren’t exactly lining up with true Joe/Cobra counterparts but lets do the rest of the main cast.  Maybe Hickey can be Hawk,  Professor Duncan can be Major Bludd or Tomax/Xamot, Chang would be Zartan, Troy (yes Troy why can’t I bring him back for my imaginary episode?)  can be Stalker…(man that wasn’t supposed to be racist I promise, but he’s friends with snake eyes and uh…likes hip hop…or something…)

I’ll be really upset if Dean Pelton doesn’t play half Destro/half Baroness…

But then who plays Cobra Commander you ask?  Who can pull off that impossible combination of power and paranoia, desired but despised, well off but whiny…Pierce Hawthorn ladies and gentlemen…


Kobe…the grandest grand that ever granded…

Oh sure, he’s not playing basketball…

Sure he is facing the reality that his career may in fact already be over and his body is broken down…

And sure the Lakers are facing their worst season since they moved from Minneapolis…

But at least Kobe is making awesome commercials for footlocker!!!

Side note: as a Laker fan I am somewhat relishing the opportunity that I have to get excited about the Draft Lottery in a way I never have before.  Frozen envelope 2.0 baby!

vanilla ice

Ice Ice Baby as performed by approximately 2,346 Hollywood actors…

Umm you may not have realized it but until you watch the video below there is a giant sized “vanilla ice performed by movie lines supercut” sized whole in your life…

No really, your life cannot be complete unless you watch this.

Okay okay I exaggerated sorry…word to your mother!

roots clones

Random Song of the Whatever…Clones

The year was 1996 and Philadelphia based Hip Hop/Neo Soul band, The Roots, were ready to drop their third album, Illadelph Halflife.  The first single from the album was “Clones” and it sparked Illadelph Halflife to become their most successful album to that point.  They went on to follow it up with the single “What They Do” which became their first breakout hit and the video received favorable play on MTV, probably for its funny scenes of parodying hip hop video cliches of the time.

I know we all think of The Roots as Jimmy Fallon’s house band today but back in 95 I was first introduces to their music thanks to good old KRCL 90.9 FM and DJ Buz’s Friday night show “Rapp Attack”.  I would religiously record Rapp Attack (via cassette tape deck look it up boys and girls) and then play that as loud as the families 91 Chrysler Lebaron could take it (Factory speakers ain’t got no bass, am I right Showtime?)

Anywho one night I heard “The Lesson Pt 1” (see below) and I was hooked.  I picked up their second album “Do you want more ?!!!??!”, ate up every song on the album (Proceed, Distortion to Static, Mellow My Man, Lazy Afternoon, Swept Away, etc…) and became a fan for life.

mattrick and kojima

e3 2013…XBOX

And we back…or something like that.  Once again I’m here to toss out my opinions on this years e3 or more specifically each of the main press conferences.  Now last year I only managed to crank out Microsoft’s press conference because they were first and the older I get the less time I have to watch e3 during work hours.

Anywho, this year posed similar problems which has resulted in a slight delay and the entire internet has already digested all of the e3 news there is, regurgitated it, eaten it again and so on ad nauseam.  So what could I possible have to add three days later?  Well I know the entire internet is sitting out their with baited breath just saying, “well frick sure but until I hear what Seven has to say about it I can’t really form an opinion about it by myself can I?”

Well internet…thats why I’m here.

So as far as housekeeping goes…I give a +/- to each bit of news or game reveal during the press conference to say if I thought it was a positive or negative impact on the entire conference.  I know its complicated I should probably go over it again, but this being the internet I’ll just tell you to scroll back up and read this paragraph again.

This is obviously a big year for e3 with two new systems coming out this year its time for Microsoft and Sony to deliver their best shots at taking the almighty consumer dollar this holiday season.  So that said, strap it in or on or whatever you do with your straps and lets do this.



+ We open with…dudes on horses.   To avoid any possible confusion a hand Kojima productions logo pops up so we know this is a Metal Gear V trailer to kick things off.  This looks and sounds like Metal Red Dead Solid.  The names for the characters are all like bad Engrish translations like “code talker”.  The music has a very decidedly James Bond 80’s twist.  Hear the Keifer!  Its open world, real time weather, various modes of transport, looks incredible…but its not an Xbox One exclusive (and I’m not going to type Xbox One every single about XB1?)  I’ll give this a + anyway because it was awesome looking and the open world aspect should change this game a lot.

mattrick and kojima


 Don Mattrick takes the stage once again to awkwardly walk us through yet another press conference along with Kojima who proceeds to to mumble through a couple sentences and walks off.   Was that supposed to be an XB1 endorsement?  Don Mattrick always gets a – from me.  Seriously, I know he is the president of interactive entertainment at Microsoft but they gotta have someone in Redmond with an ounce of charisma and passion for games that could do a better job hosting these conferences.

Don tells us its all about the games and after the backlash the “Xbone” has received on the internet over the last few weeks they dang well better show something amazing….

13 next gen titles but first 360…Blah who cares right?

As if to answer my prayers, Don calls out Yusuf Mehdi who is a much better host.



– First up its a new XBOX 360 which is supposed to look like the XB1 I guess.   Hey didn’t they just do this last year?   Or was that two years ago?   What no bribery of the media with free 360’s this year?  Can I ask any more questions here?

As near as I can tell its just smaller and quieter.  Its the same price and available today.  So let me get this straight, there was nothing wrong with the 360 slim but they wanted to make a new version that is likely cheaper to produce and sell it for the same price point so they can make more monies.  Oh and it has the added side effect of being similar enough to the XB1 that even Microsoft can’t tell them apart apparently…


Think uniformed parents and grandparents are going to be buying little Johnny the wrong Xbox this holiday season?

+ Ahem, where was I.  Oh gold members get two free game downloads from now until the XB1 release…oh you mean like Playstation + has done for months?  Well its better than nothing for your money.

He rattles off a list of games which are the standard multi platform hits aka a bunch of games we already know about so that gets a “-“.  This is e3 Microsoft, quit treading water.



Now finally for something new, World of tanks – well that was unexpected. Not a fan myself but its pretty popular around the world. A play for overseas market? Oh and its free…with Gold of course.  I can’t argue with the idea of bringing F2P MMORPG’s to the home consoles even if it is a game like World of Tanks which isn’t well known in the US.



+ Max the curse of brotherhood – oh its max and the magic marker under a new wrapper. I always need more games for my kids.  I guess I can go plus here.



– Dark Souls II – Hacky Hacky…bleh… Was that a Bon Jovi song?   I’ve heard better things about that game, but the video was awful…it was brown, repetitive and not exclusive to 360

Phil Spencer is out and its now XBOX One time.  Games will shut everyone up…I think…



– But not RYSE: Son of Rome – How cool would a GTA themed game based in Roman times be?  Running around in a toga stealing chariots and completing missions for the Gods and stuff?  Sorry for the sidetrack…is this a God Of War rip off?  First person Roman Warfare?  Call of Duty Roman Assault.  Oh no its third person.  Supposedly this is a live gameplay demonstration.  No kinect integration being shown off?  Come on!  I want to say, “Xbox cut that dudes arm off!”  This looks like a slightly prettier 360 game to me only with really shiny armor?  Alot of the action looks like quick time events… it doesn’t feel like anything new or amazing.  Not the way I want to kick off the hype for my new box.  Apparently this is made by Crytek.  Its funny to hear him say that he couldn’t make this game until now when PC’s are more powerful and Crytek loves to make high end PC games


+/- Killer Instinct – Well that was certainly a shocker.   It just feels like Microsoft stole someone else’s toy, and they don’t even have Rare working on it.  We only saw 30 seconds so I want to give it a negative but it was a suprise and something that fans have been clamoring for years for so in the context of making your presentation better it gets a plus.  Just beware of nostalgia, things were always better in the past.



+ Insomniac has now thrown in with XB1 for Sunset Overdrive.  Open world, living world game.  They could apparently do it only on XB1 because they have to say that.  I just want someone to tell me why they can only do it on XB1 cause I’m not buying it.  The video kicks off and its hardcore parkour with beastie boy’s ripoff BGM.   Our hero suddenly grabs a shotgun and its go time with graphic headshots.  This looks like a Team Fortress 2, meets APB, meets…I dunno what.  Should be right up Insomniac’s alley though.  I have to note that I could not find a screenshot of this game that wasn’t blurry.  Was it moving that fast or does it just not look very good paused?



+ Forza 5 or should I say McLaren P1 Hyper Realistic Racing?   I know I know its yet another Forza game.  This is starting to be the Madden of racing games.    This of course is the beginning of a new era that delivers the real world.   Not sure if my real world drives around in a McLaren P1. It does look fricken amazing but it should right?  This is what the next gen should make us feel. Blah Blah, cloud this cloud that.  He just dropped the phrase driveatar.  The game learns how you drive and then drives against other people when you don’t play and gives you credits for your driveatars performance.  Okay that sounds really interesting.  Wonder if they can pull it off.  All in game footage for their trailer and…the cars are way more shiny then they are in real life… how about some real world bug splats on my front bumper?  Oh wait, there they are…okay okay it gets a plus just for that.

Next up its Indie showcase time.  SOAPBOX TIME!!!  Everyone is claiming they are the ones helping indie game developers like its such a good and noble thing.  My question is, do indie game developers want to be indie game developers?  Or do they want to make bigger and better “non-indie” games without having to report to a publisher, deadlines or shareholders?



Minecraft Xbox One Edition, um they didn’t even show anything…my kids love Minecraft but that was pointless and didn’t benefit the conference at all.

And Indie gametime is over…



+ Quantum Break – Blurring the lines between a video game and an action tv show.  “Running real time on our engine”, notice he didn’t say on Xbox One…because its running on a PC.  Wow this is a whole lot confusing but absolutely stunning visually and hey its made by Remedy.



+/- Episodic murder mystery D4.  Holy crap, when I saw D4 I thought this was a sequel to the D and D2 games from the 90’s but it can’t be because even though I distinctly remember it, apparently there was no D3.  Seeing cell shaded looks out of place after the ultra realism of the prior games.  Not enough here for a rating.



+ Project Spark.   Hey he has a surface!  This is the XB1 take on Little Big Planet methinks.  Holy crap 45 minutes in and we just had our first awkward Kinect voice command.  Its been ignored until now.  Strange considering how it was the focus of the last conference.  DO I smell a one trick pony?  Using smartglass you can edit your stages.  It looks really cool but I wonder just how open it really is.   Almost feels like an RPG maker where you just select from some available items and plug them in.  Big plus if this is really as easy and open as they make it.

– I’m really not interested in this smart glass/smart match integration stuff but it may be cool for others. Oh this Killer Instinct fight is horrible thanks to the two players.  Tell me he did not just say to her “Just let it happen it will be over soon”…Sexual harassment on the big stage ladies and gentleman!

– Game DVR to share clips.  Do people really want to do this?  The woman says it best “How many friends does this guy really have to share with”.  Exactly.

+ Okay thats over with.  Now they are getting rid of Microsoft points, that gets a round of applause.



– Crimson Dragon, from the panzer dragoon people.  Um its silent…nice. Way to ruin a possible good game preview.   That game litterally just broke the momentum of the conference.



+ Something from Capcom now. Oh by the way, XB1 is the only platform that allows them to make their vision. Dead Rising 3 . Gets a big round of applause.  I”m less enthused.  For me the first two dead rising games were so singular in focus they weren’t any fun after 5 minutes. Bash Zombies with odd objects in a shopping mall, rinse and repeat.  And Zombies, aren’t we over this yet?  Use it as a means to tell a story ala walking dead, not an excuse to beat meaningless creatures up with wrenches.  The graphics aren’t the prettiest either.  Oh its an open world I guess that is better than a shopping mall.  Not my cup of tea but the audience dug it up.



– Witcher 3 – He did not say exclusive. Free roaming, open world…sensing a theme here. Optional voice commands. Probably more of the same with better graphics.  I’m actually going to give this a negative here as they didn’t show me why this game would be fun and its always had, and will still have, a PC first attitude.  Oh and pretending its a big AAA RPG title like Skyrim or something is cute.



– Battlefield 4 – This is definitely not exclusive. Technical difficulties abound and the conference comes to a screeching halt.  The crowd starts heckling.   And after a couple of minutes it starts up again. What can I say, it looks like Battlefield.  I’m getting a little tired of the military shooter stuff and hyping exclusive DLC months before release date just gives me a bitter taste.  Oh you mean you had already planned and developed that content, you just thought it would be fun to bend me over and screw me for more money is that it?.



– Why is it so tiny? Below…um okay.  To short and small to appreciate.

 – Black Tusk Studio.  Nothing quite like telling everyone you created this top level talent studio with the prime focus of creating AAA titles (or how they would rather not put it, create the next halo for us) and then have them not show anything at the biggest show of the year .   You know what happens when you put together a studio of all top level talent…they never produce anything.  Apparently you need the monkeys to actually type out the code.



+ Next Gen Halo cutscene…and nothing else.  Well of course they are going to have Halo, its like Mario for Nintendo.  If they didn’t have it they would just catch grief from everyone.  I’ve noticed throughout this conference that everyone claps every time someone says 60 frames per second. I think I would just fill my conference with that.

Can’t believe they didn’t end with that. I guess its because they had nothing to say about it.

Launch in November for $499…sheesh really Microsoft?   Was that the lemon juice in the paper cut that is DRM and internet connectivity?  Hear that sound?  That’s the sound of thousands of people clicking on PS4 preorders…



+ Finally its Titanfall by Respawn entertainment, aka the call of duty guys that got too big for their britches.  FPS with mechs because why the crap not.  I honestly don’t know what all the hubub is about.  If this wasn’t Respawn’s big first game I doubt anyone would care much about it. Cloud computing, we couldn’t do it without Microsoft, blah blah blah….yeah you got your MS mandated talking points out of the way. Lots of talky talky in the game about Hard Points. Apparently you gotta defend them.

Okay so summary time.  I admit, I kinda wanted to see the firestorm on the internet if MS came out and pooed the screwch here.  The interwebs is so jaded about the evil machinations of DRM that they can’t see the forest for the trees and want to give MS a bad review regardless of what they showed.

Me?  I’ll be less biased.  I guess I should start off by saying that my system would always be connected to the internet and I very rarely by used games.  So if you are looking for “Xbone” bashing I’m not going to give it to you.  That said, this whole DRM/used game thing is about more than just the Xbox One, its about the very direction of the industry.

Look, this isn’t being pushed on us by Microsoft.  Its being pushed by the publishers and has been for years.  A few months back all of the stories pointed to both Sony and Microsoft taking a similar stance on Used Games in order to appease the publishers and take the industry in a more software as a service direction, which all software is moving in that direction I might add.

Its hardly Microsoft’s fault that they were dumb enough to take the first shots at used games while Sony just sat in the background, taking notes on everything the prospective customers were saying.  Then Sony saw the reaction from the gaming community, probably panicked and yanked all DRM/Used games restrictions from their system (oh and then also announcing a price $100 cheaper than XB1).  Now I don’t know if Sony is really that crafty to take advantage of MS like that, but they certainly responded to the situation about they best way they could.  They caught Microsoft with their pants down and decided to kick them in the delicates while they were at it.

Of course, if we forget about all of that and just focus on the games, which is all MS really wanted us to do.  I mean really is that so hard?  (its sarcasm people)  Anywho if we forget all of that then MS really nailed this show…into the floor….with a giant spike.  Assuming you know what I’m talking about.

The games were here and the games were great.  Most were even XBOX exclusive, a problem that has always plagued MS at past conferences.   If MS would just talk about the games, then we would have nothing else to worry about.  But they keep opening their big mouths and causing problems for themselves.  It would behoove them methinks to be upfront with all of their XB1 plans for the upcoming year to get that out of the way and then talk about games to make up for it.

And what was with the lack of Kinect functionality from these games?  Wasn’t that supposed to be a big part of the new system?  Bigger than voice commands to change the channel I mean?  We saw smartglass being used way more than Kinect.  Odd to say the list.

All of that said, I do think MS did about as good a job as they could have short of standing up and saying “Ha Ha we take it all back, it was a joke we didn’t mean any of that stuff!”.  They aren’t going to do that though.

If we just focus on the games…I give MS a B+ leaning towards an A-.  However, if you take into consideration that they did nothing to alleviate anyone’s concerns over the internet connectivity and used game DRM…and then there is the price…well then I have to go with a C+.  So we can grade that as a C+ or A- for those of you scoring at home….I also reserve the right to change my mind once the system launches in November…

At least that’s how I see it.


Uh Burn!

Okay E3 press conference reviews are forthcoming.  I was only able to watch part of the shows live so that has delayed it somewhat.  Expect Microsoft tomorrow, Sony Thursday and Nintendo…well I’m not sure Nintendo showed anything worth talking about.

Anywho, you’ve probably already seen it but this video is such a great shot at Microsoft that I have to share


Community Chest 01:03


“Intro to Film”

Episode three finds Jeff working on one of his eventual favorite pastimes, to find the ultimate blow off class to fill out his schedule.  Just why he is doing that this far into the semester is a bit of a mystery but lets not drag things down with logic here.  He settles on a class that appears to be about living in the moment taught by John Michael Higgins in an awesome guest spot that straddles the line between homage/parody of Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society.  Blow off class locked in end of episode you ask?  Well no.  Jeff of course finds it hard to fake seizing the day and hilarity ensues as he has to “work” at his blow off class because Professor Whitman doesn’t buy his day seizing.  At the end Jeff finally gets to seize his day and kiss Britta but she only did it as a favor to help him pass his class unbeknownst to him at the time.

Meanwhile Troy sneezes like a girl in a story that doesn’t really go anywhere but gives us a classic Troy line and serves to build Troy and Pierce’s relationship.  We also meet Abed’s dad and Britta decides to “Britta” Abed’s relationship with his dad by paying for him to take a film class against his father’s wishes.  Britta and Jeff somehow become Abed’s parents by default by apparently invoking the little known Arabic custom that if you pay for someone’s film class their parents can choose to pass along parental rights to you by default.  Abed immediately needs to film a movie because its freakin film class.  This goes as well as you would expect with Abed causing havoc for everyone as he films his movie.  Jeff breaks out the Jeff Winger speech tm to get Abed’s dad to listen to them and Abed shows his movie which he has tricked Jeff and Britta into reenacting moments from his life with his parents.  The movie serves as a touching message to his dad that conveys how he feels about his parents breaking up and it being his fault because he is weird and different.  Abed’s dad decides that if this will help him to communicate with others than its okay for Abed to keep studying film and the restraints on meta-Abed are removed for good.  To quote Annie…”Awwwww”

If you can say Community has a formula in season one then that formula is firming up by episode 3.  The formula being: Jeff tries to take the easy way out to get something he wants.  Problems arise.  He Jeff Winger speeches his way out of it to mixed results and everyone finds themselves better off even if everything didn’t go to plan. Oh and miscellaneous characters carry on misadventures and character growth in the background.

This episode ticks all the boxes, its funny, heartwarming and the story is mostly all there to build up our characters and their relationship.  To use a sports analogy, yes it was a hit but its another double instead of a Home Run.  The home runs are coming though and anyone who stayed with Community this long was about to find out just why this show is so great.  I’ll give this one 7 Annie “awwwws” out of 10.

Best Lines:

Shirley: “Isn’t Abed’s dad a hardcore Muslim? They aren’t as understanding as Christians you can get your head cut off with a salami sword.”

Annie: “Shirley that is the most racist thing I have ever heard.”

Jeff: “Pierce will beat that in one minute” (sets watch)

(Troy sneezes)

Jeff: “Hey Troy sneezes like a girl”

Troy: “How about I pound you like a boy, that didn’t come out right.”

Shirley: “Why don’t you all just leave him alone with his cute little baby sneezes.”

Troy: “You’re not my mother.”

Pierce: “She’s not?”

Jeff: (Stops watch) “29 seconds.”


Professor Whitman: “Everyone stand on your desks. Up Up Up! Rise above the programming. All of your lives you have been told not to stand on your desks. Well why not?”

(Desk collapses and a student falls)

Professor Whitman: “Shes okay, go to the nurse…seize the day…”


Professor Whitman: “Well glad to hear it because if you don’t genuinely seize the day before the end of the week you will seize an F for the semester.”



Brita: “Raising him means letting him follow his dreams.”

Abed’s Dad: “Dreams are for sleeping.”

Brita: “You don’t know that.”

Abed’s Dad: “Its clinically proven!”

Brita: “So’s polio.”

Abed’s Dad: “YOU LOST ME!”


Community Chest 01:02



SEASON 02: EPISODE 02 – “Spanish 101”

Its time to meet Senor Chang as our group gets their first (that we see) team Spanish assignment which I guess is reason enough to call it Spanish 101. Partners are randomly assigned so of course Jeff trades with Abed (at the cost of his shirt which in a funny sight gag puts Jeff in Abeds smaller shirt) so he can partner with Britta but Britta changed with Pierce who paid her $100 to switch because he wants to be friends with Jeff for some reason.   Britta said it was something about being part of a family after wasting away his life or something.  How Pierce knew anything about Jeff trading with Abed is beyond me.  I’m thinking perhaps Pierce actually wanted to spend time with Abed.  I guess if we are calling that into question we need to know how both Jeff and Pierce knew what other pieces were “randomly” placed under which desk so they knew who to switch with in the first place.  Suspension of disbelief I guess…

Anywho akwardness ensues as Pierce drags out the assignment as an excuse to spend time with Jeff.  Jeff puts up with it for five minutes, gets frustrated and walks out on Pierce because he is still vying for Britta first and foremost.  Pierce returns the favor by ruining Jeff’s romantic protest moment with Brita before being lit on fire and falling into a fountain under the influence of “Hemingway’s lemonade”.

Jeff sucks up his pride (to impress Britta of course, that was the only motivation in these early episodes) and gives us a very brief speech which I guess qualifies as this episodes “Jeff Winger speech” before launching into a montage of crazy costumes and pretend play acting set to Aimee Mann’s haunting “Wise Up” that is Jeff and Pierce’s conversations in Spanish class.

The montage is a masterpiece by the way.  It would be interesting to know if the writers actually had a story in their heads for these scenes that tied it all together or it was just to put together as many random ideas as possible.

Senior Chang is so impressed that he gives them an F and F minus (not sure who got the minus but I’m going with Pierce.  Other than that they live happily ever after and Brita is impressed that Jeff would do such a selfless act for Pierce but no longer sees Jeff as a sexual object after hinting at something extremely offensive that occurred during the presentation.  She of course looks back when walking off and that gives Jeff all the ammo he needs to continue his pursuit for another day.   The end.

In the background Annie and Shirley decide to get political and protest reporters getting killed in Guatemala.  Not a great story but it gives Annie and Shirley a chance to start playing into their characters and Britta gets her first opportunity to “Britta” something throwing a wet blanket on the rally before realizing that she is all talk and no action.

We also get our first glimpses of Troy and Abed teaming up as someone must of suddenly realized how great Donald Glover and Danny Pudi play off of each other.

We wrap things up with the epic Spanish Rap bumper (Have I mentioned I hate people who disable embedding on youtube videos?  You are putting it up on youtube, its a little late to be protective over your content at that point isn’t it?  especially content that doesn’t even belong to you.  I digress.)  as Troy and Abed take a firm grasp of their hold over the majority of the bumper scenes which serve to cement their sometimes creepy relationship.

Good moments but not a complete offering from beginning to end.  I’ll go another 6 Abed TV show references out of 10.

Best Lines:

Jeff: “You know what today is? Its the two week anniversary of my horrible first impression.”

Britta: “Theres a card for that?”

Jeff: “Well not specifically but if you think of Grandsons as a metaphor for friendship I think you’ll agree with this transformer here that its time for ours to become a man, by reading from the Torah.”


Britta: “You’re cute but selfish and narcissistic to the point of near delusion.”

Jeff: “She said I was cute.”


Annie: “We can have a candlelight vigil like lesbians have on the news!”

Shirley: “I can make brownies!”


Chang: “In espanol my nickname is EL TIGRE CHINO because my knowledge will bite her face off. So don’t question Senor Chang, or you’ll get bit, ya bit, YA BIT! Friday manana, we’ll be having conversations with the rest of the class…”


Pierce: “Its called hyperverility, apparently my sperm shoot through the eggs like bullets. Can you believe that?”

Jeff: “I can’t but you do so thats fine.”


Jeff:  “The woman I kinda like is out there in the moonlight caring about something stupid and this is my chance to show her that I care enough to act like I care about it too!”


History of Rap pt 4

Hey a Jimmy Fallon story that doesn’t give a flip if he is going to replace Leno as the tonight show host!!!

You know if anything was going to inspire me to post something new on Droppin it was going to be JT right?  Combine that with Jimmy Fallon and these two bust out gold…

I would seriously buy an album of classic hip hop covers by JT and Jimmy.  Definitely an album of Beastie Boys covers at the very least…

Hows that working for me?  Pretty dang good Jimmy Fallon…pretty dang good.